Honeydukes Voyeur
by quiffed
Summary: Just a bit of fun with confectionery. Maruader Era.


Sirius watches Remus breathlessly from underneath Peter's bed. He'd only just ducked underneath the four-poster to retrieve James's battered Remembrall – he hadn't _dropped_ it, it'd just kind of _jumped_ out of his hand – and at that precise moment Remus had walked in, clutching a small package to his chest, with his cheeks tinged pink from the cold outside and melting snow trickling through his light brown hair. Normally, Sirius would have made a big show of leaping at Remus's legs when he walked past, scaring his best friend out of his wits, but then it suddenly occurred to him that he'd never seen Remus alone before – obviously, if he'd been there, Remus wouldn't have been be alone – and something tells Sirius he should savour this moment.

Remus flops down on a large pile of scarlet and gold cushions, and lays the little bag he's carrying on down the floor in front of him. Sirius tries to guess what it is. It's too small for a book or a _magazine_, and Sirius knows it can't be broom polish – Remus hates to fly. Remus looks around the room cautiously, almost as if he suspects that someone's watching him. Satisfied that he's alone, Remus relaxes completely. All the tension in his shoulders disappears, and he looks really... _happy_. Remus removes a slab of chocolate from the brown paper bag, and holds it gingerly in both hands. Sirius can't believe it. Moony is... eating chocolate? By himself, in the dormitory. Sirius thinks Remus would probably be more normal if he'd snuck off by himself to have a wank, but... no. He stares at his friend curiously. Remus is slowly peeling off the silver wrapper, millimetre by millimetre, careful not to make the tiniest tear in the paper, prolonging the anticipation until Sirius feels like screaming with frustration.

"Rip it off!" he wants to yell. "Rip it all off and cram it into your mouth, Moony! Just _do_ it!"

Reverently, Remus raises the chocolate to his lips. His front teeth graze the chocolate, breaking off a tiny piece off in his mouth, letting it melt on his tongue. His eyes close in ecstasy as he relishes the rich, warming taste. Sirius swallows, hard. His mouth feels very dry all of a sudden. He stares at Remus, eating the chocolate bar with a kind of studied intensity. So many things are falling into place. Sirius now understands why Remus looks pained and refuses to participate whenever James starts a game of 'How Many Chocolate Frogs Can I Fit Into My Mouth?' (The current record is nine and a half, held by Peter, who as it turns out has amazingly roomy cheeks.)

With a jolt, Sirius realises that Remus has paused mid-bite, and is facing him, a puzzled look on his face. He freezes. This is not good.

_Careful,_ Sirius thinks. _He might just be doing that daydreaming thing he does_. Very deliberately, he mouths a question at Remus.

'Can… you… SEE… me?' Remus does not respond in the slightest. Sirius tries again, encouraged.

'You… are… a… poofy… wanker… with… big… ears.' Once again, there is no response. Sirius decides to take a risk.

'I… love… you.'

Remus merely continues to stare fixedly at Sirius's face. Sirius gazes back, not daring to breathe. After holding his breath for what seems like an eternity, Sirius is begins to feel rather light-headed. He purses his lips and scrunches his face up comically. At long last, Remus shakes himself, turns away and takes a satisfied munch out of his chocolate.

_Phew,_ Sirius thinks, immensely relieved. He exhales quietly, only just realising he's been gripping the fallen Remembrall tightly in his fist all this time – it's a wonder it hasn't cracked yet. It has, however, begun to glow bright red, and is currently shooting out beams of scarlet light in all directions. Oops.

"Hungry, Pads?" Remus asks suddenly, startling Sirius and making him crack his skull on the side of the bedframe. Sirius winces, and drops the Remembrall for the second time. It rolls more or less into Remus's lap, and he picks it up, grinning. Naturally, he hasn't forgotten anything at all. Sirius crawls out from underneath the bed, wincing painfully. His jumper is covered in dust and fluff.

"Nice to see the house elves are doing their job so well," Remus comments wryly. He breaks off a large chunk of chocolate and presses it into Sirius's palm.

"So… you could see me, huh?" Sirius asks sheepishly. He rubs his head, feeling for a bump. Remus looks at him, eyebrows raised.

"I could see that bloody great beacon you were shining down there, yes."

_He didn't see what I said,_ Sirius thinks, popping the chocolate square into his mouth contentedly. _Moony was always crap at lip-reading, he probably just thinks I was mouthing the Sorting Song or something…_

Waves of pleasure overcome Sirius as he chews the best chocolate he's ever tasted and swallows it down. Remus watches him eat it intently, a big smile breaking out on his face.

"That - chocolate - is amazing," Sirius breathes, genuinely bowled over. He has to find out where Remus bought this from, it's definitely not the commercial crap from Honeydukes… Sirius is distracted by the sight of Remus wrinkling his nose. He has spotted a chocolate smudge on the end of this nose and wants very badly to suck it off. Sirius starts abruptly, alarmed at his thoughts.

"You see," Remus says triumphantly. "Even though I may be a poofy wanker with big ears, I still know what's good for you." Sirius's mouth falls open a little way, and Remus stuffs another square of chocolate into it. Sirius doesn't taste it at all as it goes down. Remus just _fed_ him. He tasted his _fingers_ on his tongue. Sirius's face grows steadily hotter and hotter.

"That –"

Remus leans forward and kisses Sirius on the lips. Three surges of emotion wash over Sirius, first is shock, then terror, then delight. Remus's lips taste of cocoa beans and Ovaltine, warm and soft and delicious and inviting. Sirius begins to kiss him back hungrily, lost in the sensation, his tongue probing for another taste of the chocolate. Remus pulls away. They stare at each other.

"Right, chaps!" James bellows, flinging open the dormitory door with all the authority of an evil dictator. He is carrying three shopping bags, each of them bulging with sugar quills, Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, and Chocolate Frogs. Peter scurries in behind him, equally laden down with goodies. "Moony – scoreboard! Padfoot, we're going to finally beat Peter at this. I've figured out this tactic – you swallow all the frogs kind of _diagonally sideways_, and you can hold _loads_ in there until your gag reflex kicks in."

"I have no gag reflex," Peter announces proudly. He eagerly shoves his fist down his throat to demonstrate this fact. Remus regards him disbelievingly for a few seconds, then turns away in disgust.

"You are revolting, all of you." James laughs at Remus's typical response and squats down next to Sirius, holding out a Frog. Sirius waves it away.

"No, thanks," he mumbles. "I've recently discovered that there are better ways to eat chocolate."

James squints at Sirius through his glasses.

"There are better ways to eat chocolate?" he asks incredulously. Peter grunts loudly, trying to remove his hand from his throat without ripping out his larynx. Sirius glances at Remus, who is managing to unbelievably unconcerned, despite that fact that he has chocolate on his nose and his entire face has turned bright red.

"Oh, yes." He takes a sugar quill from one of the bags and puts it into his pocket. "_Much_ better ways."


End file.
